Carving Pumpkins Sucks, and You Can’t Make Me Do It.

Filed under: Kelsey |
Holden and Titan picking out pumpkins to carve, The Sunny Morning Show

Holden and Titan picking out pumpkins to carve, The Sunny Morning Show

Negaunee, MichiganOctober 18, 2018 – I hate carving pumpkins. Before you crucify me for writing that, let me explain why.

First off, you have to pick your pumpkin. Whether you’re trudging through a pumpkin patch or going through a ton of them crammed into a little barrel at the store, you have to pick one (or 7, in my case. That’s what too many family members will get you). Then, you bring it home and have to prepare to carve it.

You have to lay out newspaper on the table, to catch all the pumpkin guts (or do whatever you like to keep the area clean) then find your carving instruments. Yeah, your knife, or little cheap-o saw thing that comes in a “carving kit” or a spoon, what have you.

Then, you have to scoop out all the seeds and guts to hollow it out. You could get some serious biceps scooping out a pumpkin. It’s hard work!

Then, you have to figure out what you’re going to carve into it. Whether you go old-school and just carve a face, or you go all fancy and carve a design, it’s going to be a hassle either way. Because that pumpkin rind is THICK. It can be up to 2 inches thick! How the heck is someone supposed to cut into that safely?!

Then, when you’re all done, you have to burn your fingers putting a candle into the thing. Turn out the lights, ooh and ahh over your creation, let it be on display for a bit, then it gets all yucky and you have to throw it out, whether to the deer or in the garbage.

Let’s not forget the real test: Your kid(s) “helping” for a time, making more of a mess than you thought possible, then quitting and letting you do all the work, Then they whine when it isn’t EXACTLY how they wanted it.

Believe me when I say that I’m all about Forced Family Fun. But, IS THIS REALLY WORTH IT?

Don’t get me wrong; I love Halloween just as much as the next person. I love the spookiness, the creepy stuff, scary movies and books, the decorations, CANDY, all of it. And the jack-o-lanterns really are cool, too. But I absolutely hate carving them.

So if this is your thing, have at it! But you won’t find me smiling while carving a ridiculously thick pumpkin while my kid throws pumpkin guts on the floor and quits on me to go watch “Lego Ninjago.” Nope. I ain’t doin’ it.

Keep up with me on The Sunny Morning Show weekdays from 6-10AM on Sunny.FM 101.9.

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